First, like with all conflicts it is important to keep
you emotions out of it (I know, easier said than done sometimes). It does not help if
your kids see you get emotional (angry, upset or sad) when addressing their
conflicts.
Keeping your emotions in check is the best way to
diffuse the situation. Instead, take the “it’s not a big deal” approach. Let’s
be honest in most cases it isn’t.
Whenever possible allow your kids to solve/manage
their own conflicts.
Remember later in life you won’t be around to manage
their conflicts so give them the opportunity and the tools to start managing
them on their own now.
Some of the tools you can teach them to manage their
conflicts are:
- Teach them how to calm down by saying nothing and taking deep breaths.
- Listen to both sides and try to show each child the other child’s perspective. Most times standing in the other person’s shoes makes all the difference.
- Remind them of all the fun they have when they work and play well together.
- And if all else fails threaten to punish them both if they don’t address their conflicts. Sometimes the “big stick” approach is just the encouragement they need.
Remember the theme is to help the working mom. And teaching
your kids how to manage their own conflicts means a quieter home, more serenity
and fewer instances where you have to be a referee.
Would
love to here your views on this topic so drop us a comment.
Related:
Thanks for this... but I have a 21 month old with a personality as big as the moon. She is an only child and worse, an only grandchild. She tends to spend a lot of time with them during the day (what we thought was a better option than day care). She is happy and healthy and she is still developing social skills but she is spoilt....Badddd!! Any tips on controlling that?
ReplyDeleteHi Lizanne,
DeleteYou don't want to wait until the "cuteness" wears off and the behavior uncontrollable. Here are some tips from child experts on positive discipline for toddlers.
Among the "positive" approaches that often work with toddlers:
Do as I do. Children imitate adults, so if you show good behavior, your child will take your lead. If you want him to say "please" and "thank you," be sure to use those terms with him and others.
Speak respectfully. Your child is more likely to listen if you talk, rather than yell, and if you make eye contact with him.
Tell him what you want rather than what you don't. For instance, say "Touch the kitty gently," instead of "Don't hit the kitty!" Or, "Please sit down," instead of "Don't stand up in your chair."
Make some simple rules. Establish a few household rules, communicate them to your child, and enforce them consistently. Don't expect your toddler to know better. Simple rules that protect health and safety, such as no running in the street and no hitting, are reasonable for toddlers to follow. Don't give him a long list of "don't touches." You're better off keeping things like the VCR and your fine crystal out of his reach.
Reward the positive. Positive behavior will continue and even increase if your child gets attention for it. "Thanks for sharing that toy with your sister," is one example, or "Wow, you put your cup on the table."
great tips
ReplyDeletei agree with threatening to punish them both,also do unto others as you would have them do unto you, what one do not like do not do to the other, let them know this.
ReplyDeletei agree with threatening to punish them both,also do unto others as you would have them do unto you, what one do not like do not do to the other, let them know this.
ReplyDelete